What does it look like?

Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, includes behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or transsexual; living together, separated, or dating.

Examples of controlling behaviors include:

Emotional Control

• Intimidating a partner
• Accusing a partner of having other relationships
• Threatening a partner, children, family members, or pets
• Always putting a partner down or making him/her feel bad
• Keeping a partner from contacting friends and family

Verbal Control

• Accusing and blaming a partner
• Name calling
• Hiding abuse as a joke
• Denying anger or abuse
• Threatening to commit suicide to convince a partner to do something

Financial Control

• Taking a partner’s ID, paycheck, money, credit cards, or property without permission
• Bothering a partner at work to negatively impact a job
• Denying basic needs of life to a partner and/or children

Physical Control

• Pushing, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, or biting
• Damaging property
• Forcing a partner to have sex or to do sexual acts she or he does not want or like
• Refusing to leave or allowing someone to leave